Beautiful Sunday morning, the sun is hiding somewhere giving way to sort gloomy weather. I am very much comfortable in this weather..while on the way to work this morning misty highway makes it more comfy to snuggle rather than work.
Since the last updates life has been good and wonderful in a way. Still hanging on the knot, searching for great opportunity to swing by into another field.
My recent found school reunion has been tremendous. 20 years apart, tales from each of us enough to make anyone counting their blessing one way or another. I found my football captain ~ Zulrisham Kadri. Had a brief chat with him over the phone, followed by message exchanged. He is thrown one corner of the earth, far from busy city life that both of us used to indulge in.
He said there is a long story behind it and above all he believe everything happen for a reason. He is earning a decent living there ; enough for his family and kids. We have to catch up for sure. I need to know what happen to him (more kepoh than ever!!). It was another friend of mine - Ahmad Suhaimi whom found him, shared his recent photos via whatsapp and these boys...God Almighty start to send me picture of Zul..mad house !
Yesteday Hafizd Helmi held wedding ceremony lunch for his brother. Invited these school clan as well. My parent did went over too which was quick updated via Facebook that they saw my parent. Geez...these boys..I don't know to smile or just rolled my eyes !...CNN big time.
Life has stretch us from what we used to be. With the recent UPSR result announcement, I am proud to see that those who had become parent ; their kids is doing very very well. Far from what we were in school. The least it is better than older generation.
As much as I am happy and excited over this reunion thing...I am looking forward to met up with my clan (snob!). The rest will make way in between. There was me, Zulhisham, Khairul Azman, Rajisman Ali and Suhaimi Rashid. These five stick together like a glue through out and they eventually make my house second home. Especially Zul...always seems to be around playing table tennis with my dad.
Another side of story, I uploaded primary school photos. Standard Five - messages and phone number exchanged. We don't change much appearance wise, just aged. 90% of them went to the same secondary school. We just expand our friendship with kids from other school in the district.
There will be a small gathering on the girl group which I m often left behind as busy with the football team. Since I am 'vanish' in the thin air for 20 years...its a pleasure to see these girls whom very likely having average 5 kids each now. Some of their kids already in their 17th years of age. Its like married the very next week after final SPM paper.
(Off the record. My parent often strike fear in me and siblings...if we are not good in our studies, they will married us off and become full time housewife. Then we are stuck forever in the small town without ambition and all. Trust me....it is my biggest fear. With our last drop of blood we strive to get away from this small town..by hook or crook. Then in our 20s my parent again on our back for suitable time to get married. Hell it is not happening like they wished for. They shapped us to be stern and vocal..speak our mind and find our own course. Suitor will not come overnight for sure.)
Looking back over the years, as I stated before we cannot measure one's path based on how they were back then. Of course one must have direction or at least ambitious enough what you want to be when you grow up.
It is good if you have a good course or at least earn a decent living.
I have learned too that few of them pass away due to illness or accident. Some because of drugs. Which is sad. It is like our play ground we see each other almost daily for half a day. Then to learned that they are gone..such a disbelief too.
For now I looked forward to come back home. Need to bring my mom to see doctor and also catch up with my school buddies. Foresee it will be lots of tales and stories. Years in counting may sound short or at time may seems long enough to make you wonder ...what has happen during those times. 20 years this time for me felt so long. 20 long years that has changed us into what we are today.
Above all I can say is...those whom in my chatting/message/phone call now are good people. Nothing has changed much on them in the manner of humbleness. Those whom not in the list...to speak their attitude has not changed either. As snob as I am...there is a difference between me the lovable snob and those whom always find a way to be outstanding with no reason. That group of people is not welcome at all. My clan still speak the same wave length...
Last week my aunt and uncle came down to my late cousin residence in Puchong. Did some prayers for her. It has been two months since. Thankfully my aunt and uncle acceptance is much better. When tragedy strike..it is amzing how people can really change. Especially their connection to the creator. Believe me when I say... just pray in good time or bad time. The spiritual and soul connection in the name of prayers...amazing. Just amazing.
Both of my sister went, me on the other hand at work. My aunt shared that she believe her daughter new on her condition in some way. While clearing the house, they found mane religious book and some that says...power of acceptance.
I can't seems to find the correct words or sentence to describe how do I really feel about her death. Accepted ? Yes I am but I can still feel her presence around...so does everyone I think in my family.
Life has to go on. As time pass my inner feeling is calling me home badly. I had my fun years here. Was talking to Joanna last week....she too felt the urge of doing something meaningful for herself. It might not be as much as our earning now but it is meaningful.
I am so thinking about coming home to my parent soon.
While on FB the other day I came across a post. It is said that, don't look too much into the joyous time in the past. Our become so and so backward that we want to be in that time so we do not have to face what the future holds.
Not facing what the future holds? I don't think so. It is nice and wonderful to talk about good old days. But reality check will come knocking before you know it. It is merely a rememberance for all those sweat, tears, blood..laughter and sweet memories. Nothing more.
There shall be many how I wish...but as I said reality check. You must stand on the reality ground...the future is bright ahead. How you see it ..it is up to you...no pain no gain..
We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
I have many things I hate nowadays which often hidden behind the counted blessing. At one point I am grateful enough for everything, then it all started to backfire in a way. Maybe I am just sitting in the execuse that is piling up daily.
There is a need of a change for sure. What have I done so far ...well not much. It is not nothing but not much effort to it. Basically I have not push it to the limit for all the changes, wishes and dreams that I want.
I used to love what I do for a living. The good old days is drifting away.
Does power makes people mean ? Oh yes it does. Link : http://edition.cnn.com/2013/10/24/business/does-power-make-you-mean/index.html?hpt=hp_c5
We have walked the horrible days of a leader, I guess it will come to that soon. Need a change badly and I am working on it. Should nothing satisfying swing by..just tie a knot and hang on.
Last week I had a visitor. Friend of a century..he is a friend, admirer, devil and angle. We fought, we scracth, we cried, snuggle and cuddle...name it. At the end we still together. The only thing about me and this guy is...divided we stand but united we fall. Loving him as a whole but living with him is another story. We can stand on same floor not more than two days.
Collected my Kim Kardashian - Gold Perfume plus some other goodies he bought. He is always been my perfume contributors. I envy his life at times. Travelling and circling the globe like nobody's business. He has completed more than half of the continents. Left South America and Africa that has not been conquered yet.
Among the conversation that we had that night was about loneliness. I told him that I am very lonely at times with no one to be call a true friend by my side. Apart from my lover, I don't have much of a friend to be call friends.
He said, in our own circle there are people who dying to have our life. Yet we are a loner.
We are a loner not because there is no one to be friends with, we are a loner because we set up a standard or par, who to be with and who not to be. If that person unable to reach to our level or thinking, attitude or even react then he/she is not fit into our life. Whilst these people accept us the way we are plus they enjoy our companion. So who is the screw up now...we or them. (I hate him if he is right)
On top of all these, he labelled me a snob. Always been a snob I am it seems. Oh well I did not notice that! (I hate him more... :-) Snob or not I am my father's daughter. My siblings behave the same. We are not a blonde in house of bunny that's for sure.
One story after another...we end up sleeping at 0600am. Damm! I was so Panda the next morning! Over all I realize that he is much more lonelier than I am. Being used to him over 20 years ...I just let it be. Bottom line I knew he meant well whatever the issue was.
At the point when we thought we are screwed...just pause and have a look around. Nothing much I can say about it...as I said...Loving him as a whole but living with him is another story. We have walked heaven and hell to be where we are now. He is having a life time fun and experience in travelling.
Experience where most of us just can afford to dream about it.
We bid farewell and reality cast upon us again.
I am back into the huge mansion and he is back to his family. We had a good time yes. When shall we see each other again..well god knows! I want to make a point to travel to States with him once. While he is still having the previleges..
Yesterday afternoon while I was taking a nap, a phone call came in. I have no idea who the guy was. What kept me going was when he mentioned we went to same school. After few minutes of teaser, he reveal himself. Oh man!...this year is so a year of lost and found. Ahmad Suhaimi Rashid. Legendary one of our gang member.
Then a phone call from another school friend ; Hafiz. He said lost my number and can't seems to find a way how to get it back. Then he remember my dad...he call him to get my number. Unbelievable! Funny and witty as usual.
On the other hand, my old flame - no more on FB. His wife block me out. Whatever...I am snob anyway! He call me once a while to say hi. I said too bad your wife did that but just leave it as it is. Woman can be complicated. Don't start a war cause it will be a battle you can't win.
Chatted with my new found school mate, he asked me to join ex SMDMM 1989 to 1993 page on FB. Many of us are in there. True enough..entire battalion is there. The next alumni I will put my leg in for sure. It is unbelievable how we are in our 3 series now.
The good old days. 0745am to 1300hrs daily Mon to Fri. Took same bus to and from school.
Well known in the school. I got to dig the old school album..wait! It will be right up in that school FB page..
I am still looking for the football team captain. He is still missing. No one knows where is he. Like vanish in the thin air. Everyone seems to be around but not him. We are divided into few groups in a way. Not all get along well.
Generally everyone is good to each other. Just the click is different...
My phone has not stop since then...friend request pouring in like mad. Whatsapp message..the worst was I don't really know most of them. Felt like Rachel Green from Friends. They knew me...my bad!
Then a message came in from one of the girl Nina...there is on person whom holding her by the knee for my number. I m speechless...who could that be...?...Turn out to be another of my close buddy also...Rajisman Ali. Number exchanged and I felt like crying.....20 years man....!! He was also looking for me high and low. Off the record...during school time my boyfriend don't really like him...hehehe..
He is now with DRB Hicom.
Mission soon will accomplish...I need to find that Football Captain and few girls is next on the list... My parent can remember them by heart until today. Just mentioned to them one name - they quick to know what happen to each and everyone of this school batch of mine.
The best time of my life was during school....nothing replace it..absolutely none.....
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