Failure is a teacher, pain is a teacher..the lesson learned from it that what makes us going. Everyday is a brand new day. There shall be new things though it may seems like yesterday's once more. If we take a little extra time to see beyond the naked eyes it is not the same. What seems the same is our routine of living..
In my religion there is a saying for us to appreciate Five things before came along Five Things.
1) Wealth before fakir
2) Health before illness
3) Youth before age
4) Time before occupied
5) Life before death
Simple and straight forward, our very basic daily living. Wealth here does not mean that one had to become millionaire, but rather to appreciate things that you have that money can't buy. If one came from those rank ; that's even tougher for sure.
My dear father's health was not too good lately. To even think living in this world without him around can make me cry for hours. But as my dear superior said, we have to let them go and pray to HIM up there to do what is best. This thing is not in our hand.
All my life my father is everything. Often I said that my parent always sees me as their tan round eyes mischievous little girl, to my own surprise, I still sees them through my little girl's eyes too. There are always some part inside us that did not grow up.
I never knew how to trim my own nails as my mother always do that for me. I never knew how to purchase a melon, durian or satay for that matter because to me these are foods that my father always bought for us...being on my own for the last 15 years... still the taste are not the same even I am having the best satay in town. It has to be from my father's buying. Strange but true.
We spend our youth to be away from family and now spend our entire matured life praying hard
that we will trade anything in this world to have them around forever and healthy.
I took a long leave just to stay a while longer with my parent. My dear father never questioned us on when are we coming back for a holiday but lately that seems to be a frequent query. We can earned a living anytime anywhere but there is not spare part on a new set of parent out there.
My father is not terminally ill just aging. Being a tough and active man in his younger days then suddenly lost the ability to do all the hard work or playing sport ; does hit a man in certain point.
I witness with my own eyes how he still push himself to do what he love to do then end up in bed the next day cause of body ache. He is not fit to do that anymore. We as his beloved daughter did not push him too much either. Just watch over him and be the peace keeper between him and my dear mother.
Being married for almost 40 years there is sure lots of thing to say about each other. I warned both of them from time to time ; just live in peace and also to my dearest sisters...not to say too much if not necessary. Words are often sharper than a sword...
The long leave goodwill intention has landed me in hospital for 4 days. Virus infection. I am emotionally disturb in a way. To confined in this four walls for four days is not pleasant for sure.
During the time when I vomited green..all that was in my mind was...I want to live and get better. Its sort flashed out in your mind how nice it is to be in good health and not to harm your body with lots of thing. Sleepless night, uncomfortable bed and even I can't pee by myself without being attended too. Such a torture...which of course did not happen first time.
Being ill once a while is a good reminder to appreciate what we have. Having my fever temperature reach 39 degrees Celsius was a real scare for me. Hit 40..I could passed out or just out of good.
All well is well, today I need to tell the doctor am going home...if not my mental will break for sure.
I need to be back on track of my life.
Just made another major adjustment....life is good and life is great. The best of all is knowing that you always have someone besides you to catch your hand when you are falling. That is my most valuable treasure that money can't buy. I am the richest person in the world.....
