When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity, happiness…all the good things.
Maya Angelou
Ramadhan is ending, Eid is just few days away. While on the way journey to the office today, I've passed by Jalan TAR. Looking at all those people walking about with shopping bags in their hands, I can imagine how crowded it is going to be this weekend. Have completed my shopping last weekend itself, only left few items to buy.
This year is the first year ever am leaving home on first day of Eid. Its exciting to learned that I can wander around KL city on the eve of Eid which I had never had chance to do so. Been staying in KL for the past 15 years, time do change and opportunity does arise at point we all never knew about it.
The city is getting quiet, even my office is a bit solemn nowadays. With my boss early departure it makes me feel even more quiet. I did not even have chance to say goodbye. I miss him around much these days. Its just empty, though the new AOM is super supportive it take times am sure to adjust. People came and leave.
There are few more that tender in resignation letter, departing for greener pasture. I guess that's life, I myself can't stay that long in one company either. Always seeking for newer ground to play.
Its season of changes in my office now. I find peace here so far, no issue to venture yet for greener pasture. This path is green enough for me at this moment. Until I decide to scout for more adventure. In any field that one work, its all about attitude and right mind set. Five fingers are not the same, we ourselves at time have some inner conflict, let alone dealing with other humans.
To be able to deal with lots of human nature in daily life it has to be someone gifted with the art of tolerance. Not everyone can deal easily with all sort of personality. For me, I don't take it personally its just part of the job. Lesson learned over the years. I do not get involve too deep and keep it at the job level. Those day I often took it personalize until one stage that I can't handle it anymore. Lost almost half of my life because of job.
Above all am always thankful and bless on this journey of mine. Lesson learned, hard way yes, but still am glad of it. The world is small, we will one day came across each other's path again. It is just matter of time. When we meet new person, the old one shouldn't be forgotten ; unless of course keeping them bring harm to your life. Believe me, its better to eliminate those who bring more harm than happiness into your life.
Last night I had dinner with Shan, nowadays he love just to stare at me with that very loving look. Being playful I often teased him off. Deep inside my heart, I am so grateful to have him in my life.
We will not know what it means until we are in that situation or we walked into that journey. Remember the song When A Man Loves a Woman. Each of those words tell exactly what and how it goes when a man really loves a woman. Most important he sees you as a mother to all his unborn children. He picture himself as a father and husband.
I do have a friend who fuss over her lover that never said a word about love to her at all. She seek somewhat assurance in words that this man really loves her. Look beyond my friend. There is no assurance and guarantee about anything in life. Even insurance also have clause of terms. Dealing with heart and soul ; yet seek for assurance...ain't gonna happen girl.
The best is self-guard. Put yourself at some level that Love is just part of life and not the air that you breathe. If one unable to deal with this yet then, its pity cause its petty. If bigger issue like death and illness hit both of you....since the foundation is not there...shattered world and it will just collapse.
I am sure to be devastated if it happen to me, but yet am not gonna die of it that's for sure.
I remember back when I was 10 years old. My neighbour has a beautiful niece. She is simply beautiful, I have to admit that. A boy committed suicide after she rejected his marriage proposal. He drank weed killer (so classic). It was a talk of our small town for many years after that. Then finally she got married. Sadly a week after their marriage, both of this newly wed couple met with accident. Fatal enough to injured her face and one of her leg unable to walk as normal anymore. This beautiful lady has to go numerous surgery to reconstruct her structure again. Husband escape any form on injury.
Again, it become a talk of our small town. Its curse they say, ..oh well whatever. My point is years after that when I was in my teen , heard from my mom that this lady's husband is having an affair and that their marriage is on the rock. Back then, it did not struck my mind much though I do feel it is not fair.
Now, how I look at it there is nothing permanent or guarantee over anything. That's the truth. If anyone wish to have words in guarantee when the truth is...it is just an insecure feeling. The inner feeling is empty...it search for something to soothes and ease in hoping to fill that emptiness.
No matter how, it can't be fill. This kind of soul often very unhappy or just cannot be happy. They are so scared that the happiness won't last. Sorrow will sure come upon it...sure is cause its what their heart talk about all the time. Its a prayer's like.
Even in my recent visit to my parent, mom handed over to me an article about marriage. The article said that husband is only a guest in your life. We treated our guest like how we suppose to be. You cannot guarantee he will stay with you forever. If he decide to leave let him leave, you yourself also find a better life. If none then, don't just lay down and wait for death to come. It is all about confident and positive mind.
The author said that her own husband decided to take a new 'branch'. She allowed it and then the husband demanded that divorce. She said OK, and continue to inform the husband that may I have a new good life with a new person that far more better than this husband. For that the husband pause and decided to let go of this new 'branch'. But things already sour. It will never be the same.
Love your man yes, but don't die for it...in fact don't die for anyone. Live your live for yourself first.
Between me and Shan of course nothing is perfect, flaws are always there but the thing is for me and him we have everything that life could have. Not lavish, but enough. Keep good things to yourself ; evil eyes are watching and heart is cursing.
Watch and curse all they want, I have walked in heaven and walked in hell to get to where I am now. I fear nothing. They say that, don't live life with much expectations then we do have much thing to regret and feel sorry.
Well to me is that, we should set our own expectations and dreams. Set something within our own reach, work on it first then we move to the next level. There is no such thing as express journey into success. Even when we learned it start from basic.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henny Youngman
I am very ambitious to explore this blog of mine to the next level. As I said before wanna do something more productive rather than telling about me, my surrounding and my life around the world. Even so, its my blog anyway.
Nothing comes so far to be as interesting for me to share about. Am done with religion and politics. Something will sure pass one way or another. Just keep looking. It should be different from what that has been popular.
02.15AM still wide awake, my one and only night shift for this roaster. I have no idea how it become like this, just one night only. Am flexible, so no issue at all. Soon our team is only consist of six person. Roaster gonna be tough and off days will not be as much as now. Hopefully new batch that comes able to support and work along well. We all do have our differences but at the end of the day its the team work that matters.
Group desire is different than individual desire. With individual desire, it's up to you to feed the fire. With group desire, you get all kinds of people rolling logs on from every direction.
- Vince Pfaff
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