Laughter is the best medicine.. :)
600 Story Hotel
Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.
Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.
The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps
After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.
Sloth vs Turtles
A sloth calls the police to report that he was attacked and robbed by a gang of turtles. When the police ask him to describe the attack, he replies:
"I.....Doooon't.....knoooow...
It... all... happened..... soooooo ... fasssst....."
Tiger's Snack
A tiger was walking through the jungle one day and saw two men relaxing under a tree. One was reading a newspaper, and the other was working feverishly on a manual typewriter.
The tiger leapt on the man with the newspaper, and ate him up. The tiger did not bother the other man at all. That's because any predator knows that readers digest but writers cramp.
Presidents
George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and George Bush are in a plane.
The pilot says that the passengers must lighten their load. so the three presidents decide to drop one item
George Washington drops a quarter
Abe Lincoln drops a penny
George Bush drops a grenade
When the presidents land, they find someone holding their head and cursing.
George Washington asks the man what's wrong.
"i was walking down the street when a quarter falls from the sky and hits my head!"
So the presidents continue down the road and find someone hopping on one foot, holding the other, cursing. Abe Lincoln asks "What happened?"
"i was standing on my porch barefoot when a penny falls from the sky and hits it!"
The presidents continue once more and find a young boy laughing hysterically.
George Bush asks "What's so funny?"
The boy replies "i farted and my house exploded!!!"
Capital of America
Two kindergarten kids are talking while having a lunch break.
Girl: What is the capital of America?
Boy: Washington D. C.
Girl: No! "A" is the capital of America. You already forgot our lesson: capitalize proper nouns!
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