Dusting again....it has been a habit lately that I have a block mind when it come to blogging. It came for a while then just faded away...seems like nothing important to update rather than a daily routine. Either is a complaint or just a happy thought. I guess to many of those being updated already...boredom just came knocking if I were to put up the same thing over and over again.
Life has been good and bumpy as usual. For sure my mind set are different, back to the path where I am always the positive person. All I need now is a step to sharpen it..armed with more knowledge and wishful thinking. I have not been reading for a while now. Many books at home become more like deco items comparing to knowledge tools.
My father's health is improving. I think this year I made the most trip home comparing to any other year of me being away from home. Getting involve with family politic ain't easy ; feel to give up at times but I guess that is what family all about. Scratch and claws but never separates.
This 2012 sure flew like a wind and I am racing against time for everything. 24 hours is just too short a time. For the next 15 days I already knew what I am going to do and where I will be. Addition to it...if things does not flow accordingly ...adjustment needed. Not only it makes the time shorter ...it just cramp us into walls ..squeeze our days through. With all these I still manage to be grateful. It was not such a bad day anyway.
It is true that I we count our blessing more than complaining...things are much brighter. I can't remember my days much of being grumpy or unhappy. Bumpy ride, hard path and bad days are often came along like passing clouds but it will not stay forever.
My soul ache very much every time I am faced with grumpy or negative person. Usually I just choose to ignore and flip the situation otherwise ; away from the negative vibes. Trust me, these kind of person ...their negative vibes are so strong. Enough to pull you down together with them. It will make you feel that this life is hell. When in the reality you are capable of balancing between these two world.
I guess up bringing has very much got to do with it. It narrow back ; who and what is happening at home.
Nobody's life is bed of roses....life is not about your own self story all the time. If we feel our life is bad...look again around at least.Bottom line, be grateful of what we have instead of what we don't have. Start small and make a different.
Being stuck, frustrated is just part of life and not the whole life itself. To be honest at times when I see the attitude of people around me...I am billion time grateful that I don't carry such attitude. My own flaws is not bad after all.
Even if among my own family issues, I told my mother that I have seen worst family matters comparing to what is happening among us. A dispute here and there is just small prick comparing to how much worse that I have witness over years.
Above all, always see things beyond what your eyes can see. Seeing with a heart make a big different than just plain looking.
My sister had her place confirm in one of the local varsity. I can say my parent is a proud parent. Their children spread own wings right after 17 years of age. My mother said that they thought they won't make it to see my sister going to university.
The preparation step was war zone like. From the acceptance to buying all the stuff. Finally all fall into places. I came back over the weekend for her registration. My 3rd sister also came along. She went to the same varsity as well and she was the first elected Student President Organization then years ago. Most of the staff recognize her still.
During her recent holiday after the orientation, my last sister said that during the opening speech by the Chancellor, she was made to stand up and introduced as related to the first elected Student President and hope to shine in the same manner...my father grinned ear to ear.
When we left home after sending her off the university...I finally realize that she all grown up. No more baby. My dad said ...18 years of her life, he is the one who wakes her up every single day during school time. Its a mix feeling of joy and sadness for him and my mom.
Being full time assistance for my father in terms of documentation and financial arrangement, my dad felt a bit hassle. As age is catching up..poor eye sight is a great challenge.
Work wise, all are ok. Big hassle coming up our way. One of our team member is leaving...it make us sad in a way. Our dear baby J has not been well lately...pity her. Hope she recovers soon. That girl need 'overhauled' big time. Asked me to take her tummy for a day some more...
At this mid year, office seems to be a bit quiet. Our platform are busy as always. Almost two years here...many people came and go. Over that I learned a good lesson...very very good lesson to never change yourself to suit anyone.
Am dead tired...can't see or walk straight anymore. Going to have a full rest for the next two days before continue on three night shift again.
Come what may, walk it with pride. Do your due diligence and don't take it personal as long as you are not being taken advantage for or being abuse. Its not being selfish ...self cautious.
I miss my buddy Dev Anand, where is he now I wonder. This year is fast forward year...everyone is going at fast phase and end up there is a gap in my circles of friends. Bitter truth, I knew what are they doing only by status on Facebook. I think my circle is getting smaller and smaller.
Met up with my regular spiritual healer. He is as funny as ever. I always have the impression his job as a spiritual healer is just to sit and give advise. After a long conversation one afternoon, now I knew that his job is more challenging that what I am facing. Dealing face to face with human with problem...million kind of problem. All these people came to him with bad stories to tell most of the time. He said at the end of the day before sleep, he will take a bath again and then pray. He clean up his ears, mouth, nose....too much negativity. At times his blood pressure shoot up if faced difficult situation when facing a person with problem but refuse to listen. I laugh my lung out listening to all his experience.
He did in away share with me that my friend's condition has gone from bad to worst. Their life has go down the drain. Silently I am thankful that I make a move to start a new life without them. Pity to hear what they had become but I guest it very much tune down to what you want in your life.
If you are hunting for wealth through other people's pocket, the Karma will turn back to you being hunt of the same reason. There is no such thing as easy money. Its all about hard work.
People change over the years for sure. Good or bad. I was very sceptical back then if I made a right decision leaving them after all those years of good and bad days together.
Now I can rest my mind without any guilt feeling. I made the right move. Reason to it, we all has change and evolved into someone else over the years as time passed.
A friend's mother said to me ; be specific in your prayers of what you want. Like we place order for a drink at the restaurant. If we tell the waiter we want drink ; they won't know what drink you want. So be specific...tell exactly what you want.
Whether we will have it or not that is not in our hand to determine. Pray and work hard towards it. If we get be thankful...if otherwise..keep trying.
The good old days has passed. When the cloud came over shadow our lives then, we by then change. Some of us choose to take it the bad way...when the cloud passed, we all are different by then....
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