Eleven years gone since.....can't believe it at times. I crossed over this new year with smooth relaxing - stay at home with my friends..Janu, Kakak and of course my dear lover Shan. As the clock hit midnight....the scene was memorable...Shan and Janu busy lighting up the altar for prayer..then we hug each other with wishes.
I fell ill on Sunday..terribly ill. Bed ridden on Monday and am back to work today.
Things are moving just fine. I got to gear up myself with all the upcoming event of my wish list.
At times I am clueless of what to write here, though there are mere moments for things that happen I do feel like to share with all readers of things that happened around me.
My dinner with Dev Anand was a fond memory. I finally got my perfume...a scent that I love the most. I do hope he is glad with the long sleeves shirt I bought for him.
I need a house badly too. Janu told me that they will shift out by April 2011 to new house in Cheras. I think its a good move. Had a long chat with Kakak on Sunday. Its funny feeling as I used to share my vision and mission with Janu before...but thing left uncertain as she is still trapped
in her own world. The unspoken anger and dissatisfaction at times just bring down her soul termendously.
To move forward...we need to let go the past. Everybody change along the way as our aged passed. The question whether it is forward or backward ? I myself is not the same person anymore...whats remain with me is my heart and soul...the inheritance from my parents...attitude wise, vision and mission is already changed.
Over the years..I believe that ; if we have a peace of mind, nothing can stop us to materialize our dream. Peace of mind in the sense of controllable..there is not such thing as problem free of course..but the least I do understand the very very basic thing that every human should and must have is LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
We we have this, it will work like a shield. It protected us very well cause any decision making will first go to very basic judgement...will this cause me trouble ? pain ? tears ? happy ? rich ?...when our brain answers that then our soul automatically gives lingers on decision to be made...should it jeopardise our own self or not.
These however is easier said than done..with out bitter life experience, endurance, agony and pain...its not easy to achieve it.
I like to look at things beyond the normal vision of our two eyes. Even words of wisdom...example like 'One shall not know the value until the experience of lost'....its basic and simple..but to those who have felt it...its a different meaning...a whole new world.
Something that I discovered before new year, ever since I have this positive mindset and positive believe in myself...happier attitude..I don't remember any one day I m having a bad mood day. If the temper or anger sparked ..it will died off quickly. Nothing gets into my way..I mean
those tinny winy stupid..childish thing..like if i woke up late..oh dear that's it....my day..screw up...not anymore. I absorb it as a positive thing..hey its my fault right..so why lashed my anger?...
Unless if my tail being stepped over non accidentally..then..lets talk !.. huhuhu.. :) apart from that...'nothin gonna get my way baby!'
I've suffered from heart burning problem. Reduce my food intake to more healthier..it does work. I m much better nowadays. I can't afford to risk
my health anymore..age is catching by..now need to gear up and get back on my feet...morning run. I miss that terribly..I miss Reint too.
My chat with Kakak does keep my soul going...it feel good to spread the goodness and vision with people who understand. I might not be able to help in dollar and cent but, sharing knowledge is always noble.
Dev Anand once told me..the worst thing that happen to human is loneliness.
We both stay on our own, but we have hell of a good time cause we make use of what we have. Its like..enjoy our sanity before we lost it.
Love yourself
Make peace with your past ; so you can accept the future
Always look beyond two naked eyes ; there are hidden lesson indeed
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