Walked into the office with one kind of miserable feeling. Can't tell for sure it is due to hormone change as I am on my "P" again. Or if it is the exhaustion from shift work. I rather look at it as hormone imbalance.
Brushed it off and remain calm. It is not wise to make any decision. I won't allow it to effect me as well. These uncertain feeling and emotional will sure go away. Then only I can think clearly on what need to be done.
Deep down inside I know that I have to make a change for a better living. This way of earning has taken a toll on my life and also health. Not that I am not grateful...life is beautiful and wonderful enough for me now.
As I said before....changes is good. Courage and lay out some plans before proceeding. Pray and asked for direction. It is a definite uncertainty for sure. Nothing is certain anyway but most important, we have consider it at every angle. Good or bad, we have to walk through it. Have faith.
While at evening case transmission today, my colleague came to pick up her remaining stuff. She resigned. Brought her beloved hubby along too. They performed solat in the office itself. There after, she told me that she had a dream about me few nights ago. I was clad in black maxi with hijab..beautifully looking. My eyes were also sparkled from black kajjal. She called me Aisyah...both of us just completed our prayers and she hurried me up. I signal her to wait as I am still in my doa....hmmmm.. :-). I can't stop grinning from ear to ear...Amin ! heee hehehehehe...
Previously, while on my way home from shift end ..that is two days ago. I board a taxi. Along the way, the taxi driver asked me somewhat I believe a mistaken identify and bad intention.
His questioned to me was, why does one of the Hindu Goddess has so many hands. Its bizarre and funny looking. Why such creation needed to resemble a god. I raised my eyebrow and asked him 'Why does he want to know" He said : Simple because I find it funny and silly"..Owh I said... This man is gonna get it for sure...mocking and intentionally trying to make fun of it.
I do believe a real Muslim with knowledge shall not do this kind of silliness. This one purely half pass six and probably half retarded as well. It is due to these kind of species that contribute to more mocking, insult and negativism towards a Muslim world. As if those Western mocking is not hard enough already.
So to speak, I just smile and said..I will answer it when we reach the destination. Didn't want him to drop me at the highway either..who knows..he is silly enough anyway. Upon reaching my condo gates I said :
First of all I am a Muslim...you maybe mistaken my skin color or look..whatever! I don't care. Second thing, I do remember a recite from Surah Al-Hujurat: 13..that said We are made into different race, religion and also clan.So we can know and learn about each other. Something like that, I can't remember it much. Your intention is to mock and definitely not to learn..
By the way....regardless how many hands, head or tails that God has, it is none of your concern. Its their believe, faith and teaching. You on the other hand...better of to deepen your knowledge in Islam that I believe we are still lacking at. Which part of you that is causing a pain to see that Goddess anyway ?
I am no expert and far away into pious women yet but I am walking towards it. Just don't do things you don't want people to do to you.
I would suggest you to start learning how to respect other people, be it a muslim, hindu, christian or any. He snapped and said, DON'T PREACH !!!. Well you asked for it...I have done my part to remind you...it is up to you.
Next time..look carefully...otherwise you might landed yourself either in jail or worst hospital...race, religion is sensitive matters. Its people like you that contribute to hatred on Islam. Today, you did not insult that Hindu Goddess...but you just insult your own religion. With that, I close the the taxi door and walk away.
There are my incident happen around us daily...I just don't understand how people can really take advantage in the name of religion..be it to politic it or making sum of it.
In my own hometown...when I was still in school. I remembered that the dawn azan was cast twice. One by the appointed Bilal...then another time was from an ustaz from opposition party. He just walked up and performed the calling for 2nd time. That incident happen for couple of days until he was told off. I mean ..come on ! Give me a break !...it caused a stir in that small township for sure. What are you trying to proof ? He got angry of course upon being told to stop doing it. He said in this township, everyone will go to hell. The appointed Imam just smile and said, be it then. It is ok, we will find our way.
This ex colleague of mine, Zara..she said at early stage she did went to performed pray at her housing area mosque. Listen to all the religious talk then slowly it starts to get political...so she stop. Went to another mosque..it is another political party. So how ? Then she and husband decided to take religious class and listen on line via youtube. Even at my sister's housing area, when they newly shifted her husband walk into a mosque for Friday prayers...my goodness he said...ears, throat, stomach and even eyes..bleed to death...it is opposition mosque. The Khutbah ..gone...all political.
It is very easy to make money and also to spark hatred..very easy. Just brand it under a religion..that's it. You are rich overnight. But then again....thereafter six feet under or nowadays it is 'cash of delivery'. Be prepare...it won't be long though.
So much so on religion matters... I am finding my way for sure to improved. Taking one step at a time. For now until mid of March 2013, I know where I am going to be and also what I am going to do.
It is said that, I we can't find time to do anything in life due to our work matters. It is for sure something wrong with us or the work itself. Hmmm.....now...I need to think about this...its time I guess. I was lost without direction before...but now I know where to seek help to calm a stormy heart...
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
Its approaching 2300hrs....I m going to browse the net for places of my dream. The northern light still on my up most list....May Allah grand it...for me to be able to see it with my own eyes. Allah almighty!
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