Going back home to parent is the ultimate soul healer. Seeing them beaming with smile upon my arrival home, it is just priceless. Last long weekend, during both my sisters went home...happen that I called in my dad pick up the call. His voice was just so so cheerful. Didn't hear that for a while.
This year Eid, will be very merry as all of us will come back. Both my sisters are at their turn to celebrate with my parent this year. I am taking a long leave as well. This year Ramadhan ..I am looking forward for it. Insya Allah...I will make to it and hope it will not be my last one.
My house pretty much settle, just need final touch up. All ordered item had arrived. Cleared the kitchen already, left to sort out each rooms and main dining table to be fix. At all times in previous house, I usually clad in shorts and singlet, but in this house just feel so not right. Maybe the walkabout from one corner to another corner in distance. Unlike the previous house which is smaller. Owh well, maybe in time I will get use to it. Its not I m living in Cair Paravel or what.
So far, the house is OK. Unwanted guest are no where in presence, the least not when I am around. Moved around easily without any earie feelings. When I am at home, I will normally play recites after recites of surah from Al Ruqya to Al Baqarah. It takes the whole day and night at times. After prayers also I do take time to recites the Quran...crawling still but its better than just putting it for display.
Off late, there are two things often came to my mind. One is to take up Quran reading class which I found the place already, second thing was Hijab. Its somewhere in my soul a voice to start on Hijab. Its a big move and I am taking it seriously. Praying for guidance and blessing as well. See how it goes.
When there are changes in our life, its definitely takes time to get used to it. Be it a positive one or right after some unfortunate experience. Changes is always good. Just how well our adaptation to it. Some might take sometimes to adjust ...some longer and there are some who never will. Those who never will, are those who do not want to accept it. End up living in the past as clock ticking passing them and never to return back.
Changes that came upon also varies, some are sudden and some are planned. The sudden one are usually harder to digest. Especially when it comes to losing our love ones. The impact often bring damage...nothing much we can do except to let time heal it. State of mind also plays important part to it. There are no rehearsal on how to react when death of love one. Its a very emotional issue.
Since my dear friend lost her mom recently, to this state I do not know how best to approach her actually. To asked 'how are you' seems so wrong....'are you alright'...wrong either...all of us in the team just keep praying for her and really wants her to get through this. The best is probably leave her to be...time will heal it.
Who knows....tomorrow, day after it will be any of us in turn. Life is too short...
The planned changes on the other hand are more to decision making. We decided to take up the challenge and walk through changes. More or less knew what is coming. Put ourselves at very best level to adapt to it. Under normal circumstances, if things are going well...we are glad to make the changes but if it is otherwise, our mind start to make comparison. Then come along a voice that whisper...how I wish I am back where it was before. Not many are given second chance.
We tend to be very appreciative as lesson learned from it. The next we have good things in hand, value it like hell. Changes is good...always a good thing to change. To be better person of course....not otherwise.
Our center are indeed expanding. Lots of people come and go. Tomorrow will be one of my colleague last day. The job is taking toll on her health badly. She decided to leave and stay at home for a while. Spoke to her this evening, can see a great worried in her eyes. To quit and losing a pay ...it is not easy. Especially living in current economic situation. I just said, trust in Allah....there shall be something else for you. Self reminder too. Through her, I learned lots and lots of thing about Islam as well.
On the other hand, another ex colleague of ours...text me today ....she is having tough time at current work place. Desperately need to be bail out. She was offerred permanent position at the end of the contract but decided not to take it. Went to our competitor company instead.
Its not about the job alone, it is about the environment as well. This is where the comparison starts as what we are having in hand is more miserable than the one we left for. I advised her to approach our OM after Chinese New Year...and prepare herself with some sort of convincing power if she wish to come back. Our team are completed by now since we have already 8 staff including myself. Not sure if they want to hire another one or not.
Feedback today, the recent hire are not competence enough. One is due to language tactfulness and another one due to inability to cope up. At the end ....the burden still weight on us the senior. It is an existing problem that company refuse to acknowledge. Just refuse to take known...none other than the training itself.
If it is not fix and attend to, forever we will see people come and go..some disappear in a blink.
The root weight to carry the short of man power will be on us the existence ones. Our health are failing rapidly. There are so much we can take though. I just hope they settle this soon enough. Keep on asking us across the floor on what went wrong when the problem itself right in front you bear eyes. Nothing personal against anyone.
Midnight is approaching. I am very very grateful for my life. Blessed upon and thankful enough for all HIS giving. I do fear on HIS challenge at times...afraid that I won't be able to carry it and my heart will flipped. Will continue to bow to HIM, pray and pray it will be alright. Most important for now...I want HIM to blessed my parent and allow us their children to celebrate their well being as long as it takes.
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