"Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream." - Kahlil Gibran
As complicated as it may sound...it is true though. Somehow things just go back and forth in between you are juggling with your daily life. Life itself is task, there is not guide book or LIFE for dummies out there. Its just what you made of it and how you walk through it that matters.
When I joined this great company, my ambition is really clear. Where I want to be and what I want to do. Every step taken carefully carved so the least it heads where it supposed to be. Hence, opportunity to return back to travel line passed by my doors like there is no tomorrow. Suddenly every other friends are looking for senior and experience personnel to assist their full hands. Hiring newbies is a challenge it seems.
Well the news is, my heart just fear to go back to the field where I knew in detail what is all about. My new field now is full of new things to learn and pursue.
Then in the mid when opportunity came, I am unfit to accept the offer. The task given to carry our national flag and travel abroad represent the nation had to be forgotten and let go. All because of my diagnosis.
My superior made that offer obviously of my capability. I am proud to be in the list selected. Exactly one year in the company I shine. All because of hard work. Hard work always pays off.
I had a deep thought and consult my doctor before any decision made. Its one of the hardest I must say. To let go a dream is not something easy to do. It takes courage and strong will power. I am blessed to have that strong love for myself. This shield of loving myself first, impact the decision one way or another.
Health is ones treasure. Money can buy health yes, but I am not in that rank. So to speak, I let go of this opportunity due to my health. As much as I want to chase my dream, I can't do it if I am not fit.
Yesterday was the day that I just want to stay in bed and lick my own wounds. I felt heavy and empty at the same time. Today was a better day. Grey in a way but I choose to heal the wound. Take a step to improve my health. I can stay wounded for ever but what good does it do. Shan took me out for dinner, he tries his level best to cheer me up. Even my clone Joanna tries to make me change my mind.
It is said that opportunity came knocking at the point you least expected. I believe life isn't that bad. There is always reason for everything. We might not get the answer now, the best it leave it as it is. Sooner or later we will know why it is not ours. Even if there is no answer to it,... let it be. Sometimes
things are best to left unanswered.
What tomorrow would be? I do not know. But I know what I am going to do and where I am gonna be. The rest is in HIS hand. I did not leave it to HIM to do the planning, I do have plan...that alone for me is good enough.
HE won't let me carry something that I can't bear. That is a certainty. If it is too heavy for me, all I have to say is...Dear GOD ! a little help here please...I can't carry this anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment