Celtic Rain....

Peaceful night....or the least I find peace for myself...listening to Bob Marley - I wanna Love you ....a wonderful that always soothes. It makes me smile every time ..remembering a person that I always relate this song to....

I wanna love you and treat you right;
I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together with a roof right over our heads;
We'll share the shelter of my single bed;
We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread.
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now!
I got to know - got to know - got to know now!

Through the hectic period several days before, things are a bit calm now. My sister came for a visit yesterday...did not see her for almost a month. She is also tight up with lots of work. She will be travelling back for Eid, me on the other hand back to work on Eid ..and the stories goes.

Had a wonderful time with my sister, Anne. Among other things that she will do when she visit my parent is to make a new pair of spectacles for my father. Like any other parents, having their children at home means the whole world to them. Often words of grumble or the dismay that they show is just their way to showing love. We are Asian after all, not like the Westerners which are more closer in showing love affection between families.

Then our chat went event further ...back to our uncles and aunts. I guess their condition those days was due to lack of proper medication and care. No matter how worst the condition is, with lots of love and care it does help to put hope to ill patient. By then both of us in teary eyes..remembering how my last uncle literally told my father to let him go....thereafter we just move the topic. Al-Fatihah....

Spoke to my mom this evening, there is a new un-paid phone operator at home who screen the calls before passing on the phone. My little 2 years plus nephew...he is handful but keeps my parent going. The other day he scream to me on the phone ..saying that everyone at home is 'bad'..he is the only one nice...yeah right...then my mom said he just had a small fight with my brother with him start it first as usual.

Looking back, my parent raised all of us with scheduled time and plan. From this age to this age, this is what you should be...then from this age to this...you are on next level. After the big exam, off to varsities...then out of the house to work and build your own life. 

We were thought to always see and look beyond the naked eyes. Not only you have to have plan A, B, C....you  must also have D, E, F, G,H. Of course along the way we drifted, drowned, hit by the bus, lorry..train...name it. Either we succeed or fail...thankfully after all those, we succeeded in away. Not in the wealth manner but we have purpose of living. Most important we are still the good kid that have our parents, Allah as our creator and also living as a good citizen.

After all the stumble and failure, my wings are much much stronger nowadays. Even if it to sit in silence and do nothing.. that is very much daily planning away from the hectic time. I enjoy the silence very much..ample of time for prayers and doa. What tomorrow holds I do not know but what I know is, I have my day to day planned till the least fist week of January 2013. 

Whether I going to successfully pass through that schedule or not that is another story. Most important I do not wake up in the morning and say lets plan. If along the way interruption came, changes and all...its tough yes but then again that is what makes me stronger. Because at the end of the ordeal, we appreciate things better. We survive the tough times. The next peaceful and relaxing day come, we will spend being thankful and most important wise....I sat in my comfort zone after my great downfall. It did not take me long to abandoned the victory throne and climb further. 

If  we cannot change a person, we change our attitude. I survived the great downfall...I will not break that easily. We only plan and work hard to make it happen...the rest leave it in HIS hand...HE knew better after all we are HIS creation. I accept it with open heart if whatever it is does not work accordingly. HE has put me in a beautiful Rainbow after a very rough storm....I am sure there will be another Rainbow for me after this stormy weather....better still maybe I will see a Northern light...

I am build tough....tough cookie as what my friend Illy said. By the end of this evening I came to conclusion that I will take care on things on my own. Will only seek help if needed...if not I will rather do it myself. Its always heartbreaking when we start to have expectation....nonetheless I am bless and thankful to have everything that I am having now....

....will continue to walk in this Celtic Rain....its the most beautiful journey ever...I found my strenght again today...Thank you dear God..Amin!

Ware zone...cash and sleeping tablet....

No matter how good or bad your life is wake up each day and ....BE THANKFUL FOR LIFE...as there are other who are fighting for life...

Ended my four days battle on the job last Friday. I have not been working in the day shift for a while...hold title the night queen for several weeks. Kinda lost the rhythm a bit.

It was hell break loose as usual. One of the many that I've encounter during those four days war zone.
A caller who his brand new luxury car unable to start (According to record 2nd hand only). He was screaming and being so sarcastic upon me and the other end trying to render assistance. This so call caller become a VVIP to manufacture just because he purchase the car by cash.

Long story short, both of us end up so tense and I totally lost it..so does he. Thereafter, the sales person suffered much of my yelling. I literary told the sales person...we are not a dog here to take all this crap !
Our job is to render assistance and your client are not co-operating at all.

The salesman told be, VVIP client is like that one...they own it just because its cash payment.

Well the news is..I m not impress...not impress at all that he can buy that luxury car for cash. What will impress me the most if that man pay cash to build home for homeless...of he pay cash to build a shelter for the orphanage ...or he paid cash to the children hospital..or he paid cash to the kidney, cancer or AIDS center...or he paid cash for several acres of land to build houses for the poor..IF  HE PAID CASH FOR ALL THESE THEN I AM IMPRESSED....if not May Allah forgive him for whatever person he has become...

The saddest part of all on this ordeal was that man and me ...we are same religion. With his wealth, he has visited the holy land where a person like me only can dream.

If I have that much to pay cash for a car...how I wish I can send my father and mother to Haji...at least for once....I feel sad..very sad...as my parent may not be around anymore when I can afford it.

That evening as I was travelling home ..it rains...there was a homeless person I saw dozing off at a bus stop near my house. What a living...vast difference....I count my blessing...

Later that night before bed I saw in post in FB..."Forgive everyone before you sleep...everyone that has made you sad, angry or do bad things to you...forgive them...and Allah will make your path ease...make your wished and journey easier..."

I took a deep breath and say it in my heart...Forgive me dear God...bless my parent, take care of them, take care of my family and take care of me. I forgive all those that has hurt me....forgive them too dear God.

Still a small side of me unable to do it thoroughly especially of those people who really hit me with pain.
I shared this with a friend of mine....he said...practice make perfect. Find the inner peace...let it go...
the more you hold the pain of those who hurt you...the more bitter you get.

No matter how much pain she or he has caused you in the past....slowly find peace with yourself...just go step by step...time will heal it. It just the forgiveness that you gave...that is all that matters....

Most important he said....done become them....

Manage to get two days off which is not that Off days anyway...busy with all over the weekends with packing. This brand new condo has manufacture defect, bad one I must say. Now have to let the developer in to change all tiles and fix a few crack lines. Sigh !

My working timetable change again. I don't know how else to react honestly. Its not that I am not thankful about being alive. Believe me..I have many things to celebrate and being thankful to Allah. Its beyond words how I am so so bless with my life.

I wen to see my regular GP on Saturday. My whole left arm and back suffers unbearable pain. Constant migraine and also stiff neck. He gave me few pills and two...miserably two sleeping tablets. Only after I beg him so much that I need to sleep badly. Too tired...I can't have proper shut eye at all.

Took one last night...slept like a baby....

I do not know what tomorrow holds....its a war zone for sure...but then again....ease my path dear God...a little help please..

Nancy Ajram - Fi Hagat / نانسى عجرم - في حاجات

Nancy Ajram - Enta Eih / نانسى عجرم - إنت إيه

Same old trick.... different dogs !

Racing against time lately. Felt like 24/7 is just not enough. My daily routine is time and flowing with discipline.
Till end of the year I guess I knew where I m gonna be and what I am going to do.

Tonight is my first night after days off. Was on medical leave yesterday. Same old diagnosis again. I really has to put my feet down and get rid of this growth.

Its almost 6am and I have not slept a blink. Tired..damm tired for sure.

Financial year for us has begun two months back. Hopes and wishes for huge sum has Oh well how shall I put it..so so. Of course I am grateful over the sum in a way. The bitter truth...it just does not justify at all.
Our dear in house funny Dr told me and my other colleague that our expectation are too high.

Well how not to put high expectation when we gave beyond what it should to this pain in the butt daily routine. 13 hours daily full commitment and full concentration...think beyond, multi tasking..sugar and spice ! Stress level can be really alarming at times.

My big boss said, there is nothing you can do about it baby !....hmmm..between the conversation with baby J...we both like grumble forever but our butt glued to this place still. I guess neither of us ready to venture out or maybe just plain lazy to start all over again.

Happy or not...here we are..back to another year cycle. I will stick around for a while I guess....let see if any good opportunity swing by..I shall grab it. Am not afraid of the new role, responsibility or challenge...bring it on ! Nor that I am in comfort zone...hell there is no comfort here though...just same old trick with different dogs...